Help Me To Breathe
by Dolphen
Summary: Lucas let his head go down on his chest, thinking off all the implications of his mission. He knew for sure that he will do is best to obtain her full cooperation by any means, even the disreputables... But he will swear to free her at the end before she could be destroyed by the MI-5 actions… and his. He only hoped he will not lose himself on the way. AU, beginning season 8
1. Chapter 1

**Lucas North is, I think, one of the most interesting character I ever find in TV Show. Even if I really like his storyline in "Spooks", I need to read more about him, to know more about him, and of course, to write about him too.**

**So, that's my first attempt of a story. This one will be a really long one and I hope you will like it.**

**English is not my first language, so I hope my story will not be too difficult to understand.**

**All my gratefulness to my so dear friend, _Jayne_, (aka Iwishfinnhudsonwasmyfirsttime). Thank you for being my so patient beta reader and to always be here for me no matter what.**

_Background of the Story_** : **

**This story begins 6 months after Lucas's release of the Russian's jails. He has returned to Section-D and tries his best to become again the former ace he was before his 8 years in jail. He is traumatised by what he'd been through but he fights as much as he can to keep his sanity. Connie James had been revealed to be the mole of the Section-D and had admitted to Lucas she was the one who betrayed him.  
**

_Section-D Staff at the beginning of the story_** :**

**Sir Harry Pierce, chef of the division and great friend and admirator of Lucas. He managed all he can to help Lucas to recover his freedom.**

**Ros Myers : she is the leader of the Section D, under Pierce orders. She is cold but totally loyable. She will become a really good friend of Lucas.**

**Joanna Portman : young lady working at Section D. She had been tortured a little time before Lucas's release and is really traumatised by what she had lived. She really likes Lucas and is really glad and honored to work with him. She has a soft spot for Tarik.**

**Tariq Masood : youngest man of the Section. Official Geek of the squad, he is the one whom handle every computer and create the background of the covered mission. He is in awe in front of Lucas skills and bravery. He has a soft spot for Jo but is to shy to admit it out loud.**

**Lucas North : 38-40 years. MI-5 agent since 1995. Former ace and chief of the Section D. 8 years on Russian's jail after being betrayal by a mole in the service. He thought it was Harry but felt really relieved to know it wasn't. Suffer of terrible nightmares, traumatic memories. Brave, serious, loyal, stern sometimes, but always here for his friends and partners.**

**List will change along with the story.**

**I don't own anything (**or Lucas would never died and he would have been soothing for the rest of his life**) except Sasha Sarapova-Connelly, even if she is pictured under the features of Lucy Griffiths, alias Lady Marian on Robin Hood BBC's tvshow.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 :**

Since his return to freedom after his 8 years in Russian jail, Lucas hadn't known a real night of sleep. And this one wasn't any different, he sighed deeply while trying to steady his heavy breath and running a hand over his sweaty forehead.

He'd been back almost six months already but each night, he recalled everything: all the way back to the jail, to his captors, to his torturers, and to his greatest fear of all: losing his sanity and his identity… feeling numb and losing himself completely: never again to be the man he once was.

He was Lucas North, MI-5 agent since 15 years, member of the Squad D, former ace of the service and working hard to regain his former status as soon as possible.

When he finally succeeded to ease his heavy heartbeats, he turned a wide eye on his clock radio: 5.50 am… Lucas let his head fall on his chest, knowing perfectly that there was no chance he could be drawn back into sleep and certainly less that he would enjoy the happiness of a night of oblivion.

So instead, he shifted to reach the edge of his bed and put his bare feet on the cold floor. He stretched his hand to reach the pants he had thrown off the night before, to tired to take care of them, and pulled them on, he finally rose to his feet.

He came to his front door, taking an instant to put on his trainers. Securing his front door, he walked slowly to the lift and pressed the button to the ground floor. Finally, when the lift doors opened, he started to jog out of the building and toward his usual spot in the dim light of the predawn.

After an hour and a half, like practically every morning, he came back home as always, mumbling "hi" to his neighbors who were leaving for work, and after he disrobed, he went to get a long hot shower, his forehead leaning on the wall, exposing his sore back to the hard water-jet and making his muscles relax softly under the hot water, to erase the tension.

Finally, at 8.30 am, finely dressed in his elegant blue suit and black shirt, he left his home and drove all the way to the MI-5 head quarters. He knew he looked tired and the little stubble on his jaw was not really to the liking of Harry Pearce, but he didn't care… He had given almost his entire life to England and the service and not being cleanly shaven everyday will certainly not put the UK's safety in danger…

* * *

As usual, when he entered the "Tames House", he felt at home. He smiled a little to every person he passed, nodding to some and even sent a wink or two to pretty agents who tried to attract his attention. He couldn't help but smile when sometimes he heard one or two sighing at his glance.

Without being arrogant or egocentric, he knew for sure that he was a good looking guy and learned it the hard way! He had to use his handsome features many times before to gain information or to seduce people and learned very well the effect he can have on women, consciously or not. That part of job wasn't the one he liked the most, in fact, he never had liked using his charms to manipulate women… but sometimes, when job asked it, you needed to obey without discussion! No matter what, without regard for the consequences…

But being a little flirtatious with women in the Head Quarters was only for fun especially because he wasn't emotionally or even physically interested with any of them. Plus, he knew better than being involved in an affair with a colleague.

He just arrived at his desk, entering his computer password when Ros put her hand on his shoulder, attracting his attention: "Hello Lucas. You look terrible, today" she said with a knowing smile.

"Hi, Ros. Thanks for the concern" he only added accessing his mail box.

"You're welcome, as always. Come, now, we have a briefing in less than 5 minutes." And she turned her heels to him to the debriefing room.

"I'm coming" launched Lucas, sighing deeply… well, no time for a coffee this morning. He stretched his long and lean body to follow his superior into the secured area.

Harry was already sitting and nodded to him with a little smile Lucas returned. Tariq finished preparing the documents for the meeting and looked up to send him a "hi" before returning to his work. Ros fell into her chair, watching everyone in the room like a head of family, not smiling but the pride gleaming in her eyes showing how much she cared for everyone here and how much she was ready to do anything to protect these whom were her only family.

Jo entered the place the last and like her hands were empty, Lucas stood up and closed the door behind her, gaining a sweet smile in recognition. She raised a hand to him, giving him one of the coffees she held and a little brown bag : "Coffee and bagel, Lucas." she said, smiling in front of his disbelief. "We were sure you haven't had your breakfast before coming, so…" Lucas was ready to answer when he heard some giggles behind him and decided to sigh deeply, thanking Jo while taking her small gifts and sitting back on his chair, smelling the coffee while licking his lips and giving a tiny little moan of happiness.

"Well, now that our Lucas will have a fully belly, we can concentrate on our task" teased Ros, making Lucas growl a little and then laughing a little more at the others.

"Right, we have a situation we really need to handle right now," continued Harry, his face becoming serious instantly. "Ros, it's up to you."

"Okay." The leader of Section D took a deep breath and started to explain the case. "While you, Lucas, were sun bathing in Cyprus," all smiled a little at the mocking explanation to the Lucas's two week mission in Cyprus when he was helping the local police deal with some serious criminals, "we struggled with a complicated situation."

"Here," added Ros, showing a picture of a man in his fifties on the screen on the wall, "this is Peter Connelly. He is the CEO of MENTALTECH, third most important company in the development of mental technologies, weapons guided only by mental orders and other works on the same level…"

"Welcome to the future…" mumbled Tariq, obtaining a little smirk of Lucas before a light cough of Harry reminded them to be quiet.

"So," continued Ros, imperturbable, "Peter Connelly is also well known for his acquaintances with the Russian Mafia, which is not really reassuring when you really consider the technology he works on."

"Russian Mafia ?" Lucas questioned, puzzled. "How is an Irish man connected with the Russian Mafia ?"

"Because of his wife, Selena Sarapova-Connelly. She was well known by the KGB when she was a young woman. She had helped them for some difficult missions and because of her father and brothers's involvement in the Mafia's local at the beginning and International now. Selena was really talented but when she encountered Peter during one of her missions, she fooled herself by letting herself sentimentally involved. So, with a little "help" of her father, she started a little happy family with her Irish man and was released from the KGB."

Lucas couldn't help but smile at the mocking tone he could hear in Ros's voice. He didn't know a lot about her but one thing for sure, she was certainly not the marrying and motherly kind of woman. She probably once had wanted it, like everyone, but she valuated her freedom too much and liked running her own life too much to be satisfied in the "iron collar of marriage" like she once refered to those tethers.

"At least, she wasn't called into any formal missions til then" added Harry. "But we know for sure that before her death, 7 years ago, she worked with her husband and some of the contracts they signed were more or less affiliated to the Russian's estate."

"She's dead ? What happened ?"

"It seems that one day she took her car and blew up with it…"

"Blew up? Who did that? Russians? Irish? Mafia? Who?"

"Don't know for sure, Lucas. It's quite complicated. It seems that with time, Selena wouldn't continue her cooperation with Russian's state and Mafia…"

"Could her family have killed her ? You really think that ?" Lucas voice was full of disbelief.

"Lucas, please, can't you stop being so innocent ?" Ros sighed. "You know perfectly well what the Russians are capable of and killing someone, even in their own family, was and never will be an issue for them."

Lucas shook his head. Of course, he knew what the Russians could do but sometimes, he couldn't believe things like that really happened. Killing a woman is a thing he couldn't stand but killing a woman of your own family because she wasn't following your ideas or ways was unimaginable for him.

* * *

"Lucas!" shouted Harry louder, making the younger man jump in surprise. "Welcome back," smirked Sir Pearce. "Go ahead, Ros."

"Thank you. So, our first mission was to enter the house and take all the intel we can find to prove Connelly's or MENTALTECH's association with the FSB or the Russian's Mafia. Jo, can you continue, please ?"

The youngest woman stood up and, giving some pages of her report to Tariq to have them fit in on the screen on the wall, she started to explain all the possibilities they had already tried and with what results.

"We wanted to put an agent under cover in the house but sadly, it was impossible. Like you can see on the plan, the house is divided into different areas, all secured. You can't enter the private rooms without a security badge."

"Three levels of security by the way" added Tariq.

"What about waitstaff ?"

"We tried to add someone on the waitstaff but it didn't work. The personnel is chosen by files, with a lot of references and doesn't have access to the private part of the house before three trial weeks... takes much longer time that we have. But even if we could have done it, Connelly didn't trust them with his life. They are allowed in the house during only 3 hours by day and only with close monitoring. Cameras are everywhere, beams too…"

"Beams ? What beams ?"

"Motion sensors, heat sensors… this place is a real pleasure for a geek like me," teased Tariq.

"But it's a real challenge for us." Ros tried to keep them focused.

"So… what can we do ?" asked Lucas, a little baffled by the situation.

"We thought we could use Connelly's daughter to obtain information or at least, access to the house. Too bad that hasn't worked either…" Jo was really annoyed by this aspect.

"Tell me a little more ?" Lucas's forehead frowned while he took notes about everything he heard. This case seemed to be quite difficult but he always had loved to be challenged.

"Sasha Sarapova-Connelly" read Jo while the MI-5 rapport of the young woman appears on the computer. "19 years, born in Cork, in Eire, and raised in London and Moscow. Speaks perfect English, Russian, French and Spanish. Follows translator's studies. She had been working on her father's enterprise for the two last summers. "

"She worked with her father ? Does that mean you suspect her to be part of her father's activities ?" Lucas questioned while keeping his head on his notes, trying to better understand the case.

"No, we are sure she is not aware of those activities. Her father is quite discreet since the death of his wife. She only helped with the secretary and also participate at one publicity campaign as model to create an attractive poster for the company."

"Really ?"

"Yes Lucas. Connelly is really protective with his daughter and he doesn't want her to be with people he doesn't trust." Joanna added.

"But he agreed for the publicity campaign ?"

"Yes, his company was really in danger last summer and without this idea and her pretty face, I'm not sure the society would have survived, even with some "dark" help."

"Pretty face ?" that idea stirred Lucas off his note-pad and made him raise his eyes to the picture on the computer screen, catching his breath and heart at that exact instant he was never the same man again.

* * *

Sasha Sarapova-Connelly was, truth to be told, the sweetest thing he had ever seen in all his life. Long and curly dark brown hair, light porcelain skin, huge and tender eyes as blue as a soft summer sky, a sweet curl up nose who invited you to put a peck on it, full and plump lips, perfect for the edge of sensual kisses, and a facial contour and cheeks full of the childhood roundness giving the irresistible desire to stroke your hand on this amazing face. All in her called to be protected, to be loved, to be shared… and for the first time in all his life, Lucas knew he was the man born to do it!

He couldn't look away, he couldn't hear anything because it was like all the things around him had disappeared. He had never met her, but he knew for sure she would be the only thing would matter for the rest of his life and this prospect didn't even scare him. He never felt so calm, so sure, so… happy! Yes, he felt happy, because finally he had found a reason to live, a reason to fight, and for once, it wasn't for a cause or for a country… it was for one person, ONE person! And it felt so good, it was thrilling!

* * *

Finally, his attention returned to the meeting to see that the others were watching him carefully. He suddenly breathed deeper and mumbled an apology to have disturbed everyone by his reverie and, seeing Jo and Tariq exchanging amused looks, he asked Jo to continue to explain the situation, trying to divert the attention away from his momentary "break down".

"We thought that we could get our chance by being close to her. So, I pretended to be a student and met her. We had a few talks together and I can assure you that she is the sweetest and loveliest girl ever. I'm even sorry to have to use her because she really is the type of person I would never want to hurt…"

"Thank you, Joanna, for your sentiment about this fair lady," said Ros with a flat voice, "but you need to pretend to be her friend for the mission and not to make her your BFF!"

Lucas couldn't help but wince at her words particularly when he saw how they hurt the younger blonde haired woman. So…he thought to himself, this girl was as sweet and kind as she seemed in the picture. Well, this mission could be more interesting than he had planned.

"After Jo couldn't obtain an invite to her house and the time ran out," continued Harry, trying to ease the tension, "we decided to create an encounter between her and Tariq. They are about the same age, they are both attractive, we thought this could be very useful."

Lucas couldn't explain why but this idea provoked a jealous jab in his heart. Weird… he really needed to hold himself together…

"And we had a great time when had coffee together… but… I'm sure I'm definitely not her kind of man. Perhaps you will have a better chance, Lucas… what do you think?" Tariq voice was teasing his friend even if a little sarcasm taunted his comment. He intentionally held back that he was just a little disappointed that such a lady was not interested in him while, he was certain, she couldn't resist the charms of Lucas North.

"Why not after all ?" launched Ros finally with a knowing smile. "Jo didn't succeed in getting close to her, but they are friends in some way, Tariq is totally out of the picture, sorry dude, nothing personal."

"None taken" growled Tariq, even if, yes, really, he felt bad to have been rejected this way. It was like in High School all over again… Oh God, please, let's not do that again… he wasn't sure he could handle it again.

* * *

"You want me to… seduce her ?" Lucas questioned, voice deeper and a little shaky.

"If it's the only way to obtain what we need, yes! We need those informations and the sooner the better! Maybe you will only have to talk to her a little, explain to her the situation and if she doesn't want to give you her FULL consent (full is what we mean here ), use any ways to make her talk or help us : seduction, blackmail, threats… anything!"

Lucas let his head go down on his chest, thinking off all the implications of his mission. He knew for sure that he will do is best to obtain her full cooperation by sweet talking her, by assuring her she will not be alone and by swearing to free her at the end before she could be destroyed by the MI-5 actions… and his.

"Come on, Lucas. You know for sure that some business in life are more important than a young girl's heart. And we really need to meet her. Perhaps you could create a contact with her."

"But how ? I'm too old to be a student and there is no way I have time to become a teacher seeing her as my favorite pet…"

"There's other ways", Tariq said sarcastically "I'm sure you'll find out, you are skilled on this matter, aren't you?"

Lucas snapped his head to his friend, slightly annoyed by the younger mans behavior. "What's wrong with you ?" he said quietly to Tariq who blushed deeply and shook his head in dismissal.

"Yes, they are other ways!" shouted Joanna while smiling to Lucas. "You could be my cousin. This will work, she talked a lot about her parents, I needed to do the same, so I told her I was really close to my elder cousin."

"That's a really good idea, Jo! Congrats!" Ros admitted while nodding her head in approval.

"You have one hour to find the right story" concluded Harry, watching his timepiece and leaving his chair. Before opening the secured door, he added: "Lucas, you need to meet her today. If you think you have a chance to succeed by sweet talking, do it! If not, use another way. The most important thing is that this girl is ready to help us. The deadline is for the day after tomorrow. So, be quick and perfect, as always!" He smiled at his former ace, convinced as always that Lucas could do anything he wanted as long as he believed in himself and his amazing skills. He nodded to the younger man and returned to his private office.

He had never hesitated to reintegrate Lucas on his team after his return six months earlier. Harry knew perfectly how much Lucas was traumatized by his 8 years in Russian prison. But he also knew that he trusted Lucas with his life before and even now, he couldn't imagine working without him on his team or even having a doubt about his fealty and loyalty.

* * *

Lucas's gaze follows his superior's exit. He knew he had to do it right. He needed to succeed on this mission, the goal was too important to self sabotage. But at the same time, using a girl so pretty and innocent was not what he wanted to do with his life. He will do it, he had to do it, but he will do his best to protect her as much as possible, no matter what.

Sighing deeply, he returned his attention to Jo, Tariq and Ros who remained in the room to help create the background of his new identity.

"So… how will I meet her ?"


	2. Chapter 2

**First, I want to thank all the people who had read my previous chapter and those whom are following my story and put it on favorite. That's mean a lot to me.**

**Thank you too to _Antonia Caenis_ for you so lovely comment. You made my day!**

**My dear _Jayne_ is not only a wonderful friend but an amazing beta-reader! She corrected this chapter in less than 2 hours after I send it to her, that's why I can share it so soon with you. Thank lovely lady!**

**So, here we are. I hope you will enjoy this long chapter.**

**I don't own anything (**or Lucas would have find a woman who would love him for the rest of his life!**) except Sasha Sarapova-Connelly, even if she is pictured under the features of Lucy Griffiths, alias Lady Marian on Robin Hood BBC's tvshow.**

* * *

**Chapter 2 :**

So, this was it, this was the moment. Seated in the car at a short distance from the meeting point, Lucas awaited the signal to enter onto the scene. He was already nervous about playing a new part; he was always anxious when starting a new mission, but today was different.

He felt so impatient to meet her, hoping with all he had that she would agree to help them without having to use her. His face became stoic when he realized that he probably would not have the choice and that they will have to follow the plan till the end… but if it was possible that, for once, nobody would be hurt in the process, it would be welcome change.

Tariq sent the signal as soon as he saw Sasha entering the road leading to the coffee shop. Lucas turned his head to where she came from and was baffled. She was more beautiful in person than what the surveillance photos had captured. She was wearing a turquoise blouse fitting her perfectly elegant and attractive frame with grey pants. She walked lost in her thoughts, face relaxed and the shadow of a smile lingering on her mouth. But what caught Lucas's attention the most was the brightness of her smile when her eyes met Joanna's. The two women shared a smile and a quick hug before entering in the coffee house.

At the beginning of the conversation, Lucas didn't really pay attention to the words used but was more interested in Sasha's voice, her modulation, the rhythm of her phrasing. She has a sweet voice, a little more deep than he had imagined for such a young lady. But what was the most surprising was the fire, the passion that couldn't help but leak out sometimes, with a shaken force. They definitely could use and even needed these sort of qualities at the MI-5, at least, as long as she could restrain it, take control and not let this wild aspect of her personality get the best of her.

"Will you come to the party tonight, Sasha?" asked Jo, rudely snapping Lucas out of his reverie.

"Don't know. Probably not."

"But why? You work so hard, you need to rest, to have fun… when was the last time you had fun?"

"Seriously?" joked Sasha with a bittersweet voice. "I don't think I can even remember."

The two women exchanged a little laugh but even if the sound of it was pleasant, Lucas winced because it was a half-hearted one. There was a few silent moment before Jo again started the conversation.

"Sasha, you need to relax, to enjoy your life a little more, to party, to meet some new guys…"

They laughed again and Lucas smiled to himself when he heard her teasing answer: "Meet some new guys? Oh my God, as if I needed another man to ruin my life every day. I have one at home and believe me, it's more than sufficient."

"Is it really that difficult?" Jo asked quietly, empathy feeding her question.

"Life with Dad?" answered Sasha with a sigh. "It wasn't like that when Mum was there before. Father loved her so much that he was always happy to see her, to know she was here. Life was simple, happier… but after… the accident" – Lucas swallowed hard when he heard the reluctance in her voice at these words - "he was never the same. It was as if not only my mother and the car blew up that day. My father's heart was in that car too…"

There were no more words exchanged for a while. The silence was so long that Lucas thought the mic was off but suddenly, he heard a soft sniffling and Jo spoke again, her voice softer and friendlier than before.

"Sasha, you need to get out, to think of something else, and to have fun… You're too young to be so serious. I know how hard life can be sometimes, believe me…"

Lucas knew perfectly well what she was thinking, wave after wave of intolerable tortured days in jail crashing through him, threatening to take his sanity with them at every pass. Jo, even if she never admitted it or had only done so with Adam, their former section leader, felt the same. Sometimes, they risked being overwhelmed by feelings of terror and somehow from within had to find the strength to overcome and confront weakness and their own greatest fears.

"Father doesn't really want me to meet new people, you know that. And he doesn't want me to go to party where I will be in contact with things he can't control for me…"

"Sasha!" insisted the fair haired woman. "It's **your ** life; you are the one who has to lead your life. You didn't do anything wrong, you always did as someone asked you…"

_And sadly, you will have to do it again… for us this time…_Lucas thought bitterly.

"Jo, I know you want to help me, and I'm grateful for that and for your friendship, really", assured Sasha, "but I'm not sure that going out tonight will be a good idea…"

"_Don't push any further" _whispered Lucas into his mic to Joanna.

"Well… what can we do know?" asked the infiltrate agent, her question more to Lucas than to her friend.

"Well, I don't have another lesson for an hour. We could stay here awhile, if you want", smiled Sasha, relaxing with the change of topic.

"_I'm on my way, don't worry, I will find a way"_ answered Lucas, getting out of the car and preparing himself to go into the coffee parlor. He blew out a deep sigh and entered the shop.

* * *

As expected, Joanna and her friend had taken a place at the edge of the room, Joanna facing the entry door. So, when Lucas was near the table, she feigned surprise to see him and launched: "Lucas, I'm so happy to see you!"

Lucas smiled wildly and took her in his arms, hugged her tightly for one instant. "Hi darling, how is my favorite cousin?"

"You mean your only cousin" teased Jo, releasing him from her embrace. "Sasha," she said, turning to her friend who was looking at both of them with a happy and shy smile on her face, "let me introduce you my cousin, the one and only Lucas North."

Lucas quickly swept his tongue over his suddenly dry lips before meeting her gaze. At the exact moment when their eyes met, he saw hers becoming wide, a flush spreading in all over her sweet face and he couldn't suppress the little smile of self-satisfaction he felt knowing he was the one who made her feel this way. She was so wonderfully beautiful, he couldn't even find the words to talk to her, his eyes lost in hers and he knew perfectly well that he could have stayed like this till the end of time… Well, not that long as Tariq sent him a text message to help him stay on task. This will be more difficult than he had presumed at first. In an instant, he heard Joanna proposing him to share a coffee with them and he agreed, sitting himself on the bench beside Jo, facing Sasha, whose face was crimson and who now avoided his eyes.

So, he was Joanna's beloved cousin! She really was happy to meet him because her new friend was talking senseless about him and how gorgeous and wonderful he was… and single she added numerous times, always making Sasha laugh and asking her if her friend wasn't trying to sell him on her. Now that she had a good look at him, she wasn't sure she wouldn't do it. For heaven's sake, he was really, really gorgeous. Tall, broad-shouldered, the kind of man she always dreamed to hug and hold knowing how safe and secure she would feel in his strong arms. He was lean, very elegant, the color of his suit fitting perfectly with his pale skin and eyes.

She was already seduced by his look and she hadn't even looked at his face. When she did, his eyes captivated hers immediately and she felt dizzy, like if a hot wave of heat had rushed through her body, as if her blood was boiling in her veins. His eyes were… she couldn't describe them, there were no words to express what she saw or felt in them: gentleness, desire, sadness, reserve, awe, surprise… all in the same moment. Finally, when his phone rang, she could break their stare, blinking several times and feeling so relieved to not been scrutinized again. It had been as if his eyes had penetrated her mind, her soul… the warmth of his look overwhelming her heart and leaving her breathless… How can a man make you feel things so strong at first sight…

It wasn't love at first sight… she had already experienced those sort of feelings and what she felt the moment she met Lucas was so different. It was as if it was evidence: he was "it" and that's all. She had found him, the one she could trust with her life, the one with whom she was ready to share everything, the one who could love her more than anyone could ever be loved and by the same token, he could also possibly be the one who could break her and destroy her as surely as he could make her the happiest woman on earth.

She wanted to laugh at how silly she felt. Daydreaming as if she were a romantic little girl. He probably didn't even feel the same way… but a glance at his face proved to her that she was fooling herself. Of course, he felt the same way, he had a little lopsided cocky smile and his eyes glittered so much that she felt butterflies in her belly and was more than happy to not have stand up because she would have fainted from sensory overload. She couldn't help but bite her lower lip, feeling his gaze on it, making her blush deeper if possible. Her eyes lingered more than necessary on his lips, as if asking how soft they would feel in a kiss… she tried to push away such a thought! She didn't know him at all.

Of course, he was Joanna's cousin, as gorgeous and incredibly attractive as her friend as warned him he was, but she was sure that he knew how good looking he was. He was much older than her and she was sure that he was a ladies' man, consciously or not, and she had always run fast from those kinds of men… and even if she knew deep down that he was made for her and that one day he will be hers, she would never have admitted that she wanted him now in this instant. He would have to prove to her that he was worthy of the feelings he made her feel, even if she already knew he was without even understanding how she knew it and how she could trust it.

She decided to control herself and the only way to do it was to avoid his eyes. So, she did it and God only knew that it was much easier said than done. But somehow, she managed to do it and even succeeded to concentrate on the conversation Joanna and Lucas had and begun to ease the tension.

Lucas tried not to stare at Sasha but it was more and more difficult because it was like his brain needed to memorize every little detail of her face, of her frame, every little fluctuation of her voice, every movement of her brow, every light in her pupils… God, he was head-over-heels for the first time in his life. Even what he had felt in the midst of his relationship with Elizaveta or… Maya… wasn't as strong or overwhelming. He will have to be careful otherwise Harry or Ros would discover it and it will become really difficult. He tried his best to push aside these thoughts and turned to Joanna to start the plan. Now that he had witnessed how she reacted at his presence, he hoped that he gave her the desire to come to the party tonight and that only by sweet talking her, she would agree to help them. That would be so much better; they will never have to put her in danger!

* * *

"So, Jo, what are you doing tonight?" he asked coolly, only the tip of his fingers slowly stroking the table showing his tension.

"I'm going out tonight" grinned his "cousin". "Don't you remember, I told you Nancy organized a party tonight?"

"Oh, yes… It's tonight? I had forgotten…" he was a really good actor. Joanna grinned internally at her partner performance.

"So, you can't come? Oh no, Lucas! This was a chance to have fun together…"

"Don't worry, cousin, I have nothing else tonight, so… I'll be there" he added, winking cockily at the fair haired woman who raised her arm, turning her hand in a fist to show her approval.

Sasha looked at the both of them, feeling a little pang at the thought she will never have this kind of relation, being an only child and not having cousin or relatives. But she asked herself too if she wasn't a little jealous knowing Joanna will be with him all the evening while she will be lonely in her room tonight.

"And you, Sasha?" she jumped when she heard her name from his mouth. She was surprised to discover how she loved it when he pronounced her name. This idea made her blush again… too bad; she had just succeeded minutes before to regain a normal shade of skin color…

"What?"

"Will you come tonight?"

Was he really asking her to go out with him… no them, THEM! Tonight? She looked at him as if a second nose suddenly appeared on his face.

"Sasha?" he repeated slowly, smiling to her, trying again to catch her attention.

"Yes, yes, of course!"

"Yes? That's great! I come around for you at 9 sharp!" exclaimed Joanna while in the same time, Lucas said: "Yes? Oh, it will be a pleasure to see you again tonight."

Wait! What? She had said yes? No, she had not said yes to that! She had said yes because he had called her, because he had said her name, because… well, she didn't know what she had said yes so eagerly because that wasn't what she wanted… absolutely not what she wanted… In fact yes, she wanted it, but she couldn't. Her father… her homework… she had to wash her hair… and she had nothing to wear… _Oh! For God's sake, stop finding excuses, and go! _Her inner voice screamed at her and so did she.

When time came to leave the coffee house and for each of them to separate, Jo and Sasha hugged each other. Lucas turned to her and, to her utter surprise, he bent over her and give her a little peck on her cheek, leaving them both overwhelmed by such little contact. He smiled shyly at her and turned his heels to her, walking as fast as he could to his car. When he sat in it, he couldn't help the wild smile that spread in his face. He let his chin fall on his chest, shaking his head, chuckling slowly… Was he 15? A simple peck on the cheek and he was happier than he'd felt since he had even forgotten when. He closed his eyes and steadied his breath before starting his car and driving to Thames House.

* * *

When he entered, he saw Joanna waiting for him near the lifts. She was smiling and raised her brows in a suggestive way.

"What?" he asked grouchily.

"Oh, nothing" she said in a sing-song voice. But, just before the lift doors opened and they could enter the head-quarters, she teased him: "I think you've made a really good impression on her!"

"That's what we planned, isn't it?"

"Yes," she added a little more seriously and couldn't help but burst into laughter: "but I'm not sure we asked her to do the same on you!"

"Joanna!" screamed Lucas but he couldn't say more because the young woman had started running, leaving him only with the remainder of her laugh.

Lucas sat at his desk, his hand front his mouth like he always did when he was anxious. He tried to restore his calm and to concentrate on the way he will have to deal with the mission tonight when Harry appeared at his side and asked him how the meeting went. Lucas answering that all went well, thinking within him that he was grateful for all the years he had worked to steady his voice.

"So, she will come tonight?"

"OH YEAH, sure she will come!" assured Joanna, joining the two men with Ros and Tariq.

"Is that so?" asked Tariq, mixed between joy and disappointment, joy because of the success of the mission and disappointment to have been right, Lucas being more the kind of man this young lady was interested in.

"Yes" Lucas said with a flat voice.

"You think she'll help us?"

"I think this will be a piece of cake, Harry. She is totally under Lucas's spell" laughed Joanna.

"Oh, be quiet!" ordered Lucas who became less and less comfortable the longer the discussion continued.

"What is the problem, Lucas?" asked Harry, a little suspicious in front of his subordinate's behavior;

"She may have liked our meeting, but that doesn't mean she will be easily used. I think we should be careful and act slowly, or we could hurt her and…"

"Lucas!" Harry's voice was as stern as much as his eyes. "I know you want to protect this girl. I know it is important to you. But for now, I repeat, it's less important than this mission. No, please, listen" continued the Chief Leader while raising his hands to shush the younger man. "We don't have time anymore. I need you all to be in the briefing room in less than 5 minutes."

Intrigued by Sir Pearce's words, all the team followed him into the secured room. As soon as the doors were closed, Harry explained the situation: "I received a message from a former Russian contact. He warned me that the day after tomorrow, they will be an extremely important exchange of technology files between MENTALTECH and the Russian embassy. Files that we can't afford to lose."

"Lose? But, if MENTALTECH has a contract with the Russians, it's normal they exchange files… why are we concerned?" Asked Joanna.

"MENTALTECH doesn't have a contract with the Russians, at least not for this file and not officially! The technology enclosed is the property of the English government. It is lethal. We cannot let this information leak, especially to the Russians."

"And the exchange is for the day after tomorrow? But that wasn't our primary mission, was it? "

"Yes, Ros. The mission had changed. We knew that someday this kind of information would be exchanged but we thought we had more time. But, my contact told me the rendezvous had been moved forward. That's why you need to obtain this girl's help, Lucas. It's essential! We need to know the exact name of the file they will share and with whom. Once we have that intel, we'll need to take it and protect it. But we will replace the true file with false info and a marker which will be exchanged during the rendezvous. We think someone wants to steal them from the embassy to give them to the Russian Mafia."

"And that will be more serious for us…" concluded Ros.

Lucas sighted deeply, knowing now with certainty that he didn't have the choice. He needed to obtain Sasha's cooperation with or without her will.

"Okay Harry. You will have the info tomorrow, I swear to you."

"Good Lucas," nodded Harry, standing up and squeezing Lucas's shoulder with his hand in sign of support. "I always knew we could count on you."

Feeling how sad Lucas was, the others left the room and let him pull himself together for a while.

Ros knocked at Sir Harry's door and, after his permission, she entered the room and took a seat. After a moment of tough silence, she started with a heavy voice: "Harry, are you sure we can believe him in this mission?"

"What do you mean?" his voice was cool but Ros knew him better; he didn't want to show his feelings before listening to what she had to say.

"Don't get me wrong, Lucas is a wonderful man and a highly capable spy! I trust him with my own life, you know that. But, Harry, you know him more than anyone else: he is more sensitive than all the agents I have ever met. He is really traumatized by what they did to him in prison and sometimes, I'm afraid his memories overwhelm him and he can't deal with them anymore. I don't know why or how, but it's like he had a connection with this woman…"

"A connection?"

"Yes. I don't know how to put this clearly… It's a feeling… It's like he feels close to this girl he doesn't even know why."

"He will certainly not put a mission in danger for a girl, however attractive and beautiful she may be."

"I know, Harry, or at least, I hope. But you saw it, like I did, he wants to protect her and I feel he's reluctant to use any means necessary to obtain her help."

Harry didn't respond but he nodded slowly, proving to Ros: he was thinking the same thing. They were silent for a moment, afraid that this woman could be the pawn who might break their friend and this fragile agent by acting on his higher weakness: his sensitive nature and his craving for love.

"We need to believe in him" Harry finally stated, entwining his fingers and squeezing them so tight they turned white. "He deserves all our support and confidence. He will be fine, he will succeed."

Skeptical, Ros left her superior's office while he was repeating the same things over and over, like he wanted to convince himself.

* * *

Two hours after, Lucas was waiting in an isolated corner of the house where the party was organized. He was really nervous and couldn't stop thinking about the way to ask the woman to help them. When Joanna and Sasha came in the room, he stood up and couldn't help but smile in front of how lovely the young woman was. She had changed her pants for a sweet T-length black dress with lovely cleavage showing just enough for a man want to discover more. This girl was a temptress and he was sure she didn't even know it. She had painted her eyes a little and only put a gloss on her lips which were glistening like a lake under a summer sun. He closed his eyes for a second, admonishing himself to concentrate on what was most important for now, the mission. But her eyes were so brilliant, her smile so shy and her cheeks so lightly pink that he prayed she would help them without him having to use the crueler tactics.

Sasha, for her part, was totally unaware of the inner battle which was playing on Lucas's heart. She was yet fully aware of the warmth radiating from his body or the way the open collar of his shirt showed a little part of his upper chest and how beautiful and like silk it seems to her eyes. She tried not to stare too much at his chest but when she raised her eyes, it was only to have them locked by his blue-grey ones which showed so much tenderness and others feelings that she felt overwhelmed and was forced to break the contact.

For some time, the three of them talked about anything but the tension remained and Sasha didn't understand why they felt so uncomfortable while they had been so cozy earlier in the coffee house. Several times, she saw Joanna and Lucas exchanging anxious looks but she didn't pay attention, trying to enjoy the moment, knowing it was her first night out in a very long time and that she will probably have a fight when she will returns home for not having told her father before going out. She didn't tell him because she knew he would have refused and she wanted more than anything to be with Lucas tonight. She was crazy… this man she barely knew was making her a fool of herself. But, for the first time in her life, she really didn't care. She knew she needed to be here, near him, feeling the warmth from his body and inhaling deeply his male scent mixed with his cologne. She had never felt happier in her life and, not noticing the little nod he gave to Joanna, when he took her small hand in his huge yet gentle one and leaned his head to her to whisper at her ear, she thought she would faint, overwhelmed by all the sensations rushing through her body.

Lucas finally couldn't delay any longer the task he needed to perform. So, taking a deep breath, he nodded to Joanna, telling her he was ready and looked anxiously at Sasha. _Please, please, listen to me and understand why I need your willing help, please, _he repeated inside his head, like if this could influence her to agree.

Slowly, gently, he raised his hand and took hers from her lap. Her hand was so small, so sweet. He squeezed her hand a little and he couldn't miss the smile and blush on her face. He leaned slowly against her, approaching her ear and whispered the terrible truth to her. While he spoke, he couldn't help but stare at her face and eyes to see her reaction. At first, she was smiling but more he talked, and more her smile fainted, her face finally becoming a rigid mask of incredulity. He saw suddenly her body leaning back a little, as if she had been beaten in the stomach, her eyes wide and unfocused, her mouth agape, her skin going a little pale.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm really sorry for the delay between the last chapter and this one but I wasn't well at all and my wonderful beta - _whom I thank with all my heart for her amazing support and work! And more than anything for her unfailing friendship!_ - was in vacation so I wouldn't publish a chapter with all the terrible mistakes I know I put on it.**

**Thank you so much for your support, for the kind reviews, the following and all the reading.**

**I hope this chapter will please you. I think the story will be a little more in the action kind now that the background had been set.**

**Please, tell me what you think of this chapter, it means so much to me and help me to improve my writing.**

* * *

Chapter 3:

Slowly, gently, he raised his hand and took hers from her lap. Her hand was so small, so sweet. He squeezed her hand a little and he couldn't miss the smile and blush on her face. He leaned slowly against her, approaching her ear:

"Sasha, I'm very glad you decided to meet us tonight. Not only because I'm more than happy to see you – he couldn't miss the blush that appeared on her cheeks – but also because I have something rather important to tell you and a big favor to ask."

He saw her brows narrowed a little in surprise but she didn't speak a word, allowing him to continue.

"Sasha, I must admit that Joanna and I have misled you and I'm sorry about that. We are not cousins and she's not a student and me… whatever she said I was."

He continued to whisper at her ear and, while she shivered a little under his hot breath against her skin, she couldn't help but felt really unsettled by the truths he stated.

"We work for the MI-5 and we need your help."

She didn't look at him but her eyes brightened with a smile and she let out a chuckle. Of course, he was a spook, he was perfect for that: handsome, smart, elegant… She relaxed a little, thinking that he was joking, trying to entertain her.

"I'm serious, Sasha!" added Lucas when he saw she didn't believe him. He hardened his tone of voice, proving his sincerity. He glanced to Joanna for a second and when she nodded to him, he sighed deeply and broached the hard part of the talk: "We know who your father is and we know what his business is and with whom he works."

She couldn't help but jump a little in surprise but Lucas's grip on her arm tightened, reassuring.

"Don't worry, Sasha. We don't want to hurt him and even less you. But we need your help. Your father's company signed exclusive contracts with the English government about new high technologies that can change the world and the way we sense it. He is a genius; you know that, don't you?" Lucas smiled a little when he saw the young girl's face shining with pride at the mention of her father's genius.

"The honest issue is that, while he works for us, he also works for others and not… officially. Not only did he promise us his technologies, but he did so with other countries… countries that could be really a threat if they had those technologies in their hands. I mean, they could use the things he created to help people to destroy them, to cause devastation and why not a global scale conflict."

Sasha's smile vanished at the same time as the blush on her cheeks. She was listening intently but couldn't imagine where Lucas wanted to go with his words.

"We know that the day after tomorrow, your father will have a very important meeting with a Russian team to give them the plan of his new invention. We discovered that the one he intends to share is not the same he promised to the UK government. We infiltrated his company to find those files and to protect the priceless information. "

"Sadly, like I already said, your father is a very smart man and he doesn't keep his vital files in his desk at the company. He keeps them near him, on him or at your home, at least that's what we assume."

Sasha gulped, her eyes widening little by little. She couldn't move; she couldn't talk either. All the sweet sensations Lucas had caused her by his closeness had disappeared, replaced by awkwardness due to his speech.

"Tariq and another agent tried to be hired as staff team at your home but they didn't succeed…"

So, even this funny and sweet guy, Tariq, was part of the plan? So, she had been surrounded by all of them for several encounters. They weren't here to get to know her, because she was "her". They only wanted something from her. They only wanted to use her…

She never had anyone real in her life except her father since her mother's death and had been so happy believing that, finally, she could possibly be worth something since she had met several people who wanted to be with her… and that was only a… plan? Only faking? Nothing was real, though? They only wanted to have access to her home to find their way to her father. Even Lucas…

Sasha couldn't avoid the dizziness that took her when her thoughts brushed Lucas's subject. She reached for her glass on the table with a trembling hand, ice cubes shaking against the glass sides so much that Lucas's hand gripped the glass above her digits to steady it. He was really careful to not touch her hand to not startle her and make her drop the glass. He helped her to take it to her lips. She sipped several times, trying to regain her composure. He finally put down the glass on the table and, after a while, he talked again.

"We need your help to enter your home and to have access granted to his desk and his files. We know that there are several levels of security measures but with your help, we could handle them. We need to know what technology your father had sold off and to whom exactly. We really need to find those reports, Sasha, and we need to swap them out with others that couldn't harm anyone when the technology will be created before the rendezvous."

The young girl's body leaning back a little, as if she had been beaten in the stomach, her eyes wide and unfocused, her mouth agape, her skin going a little pale. Lucas looked at her with concern, putting his hands on her shoulders to comfort her. But she didn't let him do it. She quickly shrugged out of his embrace and he let her go, not wanting to upset her more than he felt she was.

* * *

Finally finding her voice again, she gasped deeply, hurling in a whisper: "Do you really believe that I will help you to betray my father? Do you really believe that I will give you proof to accuse him?"

"It's not our main objective to accuse him, Sasha" Joanna added softly. "It's a security question. If those files fall in the wrong hands, there will be a lot of mass murder. Do you really want that, Sasha?"

"Of course, not! But my father couldn't do that! He is not a murderer, nor a traitor! He is a genius, an inventor, a man who lives in his dream, but certainly not a man who wants to kill people."

"That's probably not his intent. But you know, even a good person wants to have money backing their work."

"You're a liar!" spit out Sasha. "My father would never sell out for money."

"Sasha, we are certain of it! We have proof!" insisted Lucas, again putting his hand on her forearm and squeezing it hard when she tried to free herself from his grip. "Sasha, you have to help us."

"No, I don't!"

"You need to help us, Sasha! And if you don't want to do it willingly, I'm afraid we have to obligate you to do it" threatened Joanna.

"Are you threatening me?" said the younger woman, breathless. "Do you intend to torture me? Is that not what the spies do?"

She was deathly pale, cold sweat pouring down her forehead. She was nearly fainting and fought to stay still and hide her discomfort, not wanting to show them her weakness.

"Surely not, Sasha, we will ever harm you, I swear to you" comforted Lucas, his voice shaking and overwhelmed by all the emotions he felt rushing through his body. He looked at her, trying to be brave, while he pressed his hand over his mouth to control his tension.

"No, we won't hurt you" added Joanna, "but you must help us. We need you to provide those files. And we will use any means possible to get them."

Suddenly, Sasha stood up, taking support on the table to stand still while she closed her eyes. Lucas reached for her but a sign from Joanna made him stop his movement. Having regained her balance, the younger woman opened her eyes again and, looking at Lucas then Joanna in the eyes, she stated: "I will certainly not help you willingly to put down my father. So, you will have to force me to do it or let me go."

She then took her handbag and turned her heels to them and walked to the front door of the house, even as she swayed dangerously. Lucas knew perfectly that he could be angry at her behavior but all he could feel was pride at her courage and sadness at her stubbornness for now, he will have to use ways he wanted to avoid. He started to think of the next steps they will have to use when Joanna urged him to stand up and follow her.

"We have at least 5 minutes left."

"What? What are you talking about, Jo?"

"The drug… in her glass… in less than 5 minutes, she will be totally out. We must take her before she faints."

"You drugged her? When?" asked Lucas, stunned while they made their way across the crowd to follow the young fugitive.

"When you talked to her. I saw her reaction and decided to anticipate. She will be asleep in no time at all."

"That was really clever of you, Jo!" said Lucas with an appreciative nod to Joanna who smiles a little with pride.

* * *

"There you are…" breathed Lucas while sliding his arm around Sasha's shoulders when they finally reached her.

"Let me go…" muttered the young girl trying to free her from his grasp. But she was far too high to really be effective so neither Lucas nor Joanna had trouble holding her by her arms and directed her to the exit.

Even in the fog she felt, she couldn't let them take her, so she started to scream, or at least, she tried to cry. Two men more sober than the rest of the crowd turned to the three and when they looked at Sasha and her wide yet pleading eyes, they tried to stop them.

"Let us pass" ordered Lucas in his husky commanding voice.

"Sorry man, you won't. This woman wants you to let her go. So, you will let her go… NOW!" said one of the men, pulling up the hem of his sleeve, trying to impress Lucas while his friend stayed in front of Joanna.

The dark headed spy couldn't help but smile at their behavior thinking that in two motions, he could reduce them to crying on the floor at their broken limbs. But this wasn't the moment to fight; they had more important things to do.

"Guys, your behavior is really chivalrous and I can only encourage you to continue saving damsels in distress… but this one is not. So, please, let us go."

"Yeah?" asked the same man.

"Yep" nodded Joanna while showing them her official card. "MI-5." The two men looked at each other unsure of their next move. "Would you really poke your nose in our business?" added the fair haired woman with a sarcastic smile.

"Nope, Miss." They said together before letting the three of them pass.

* * *

When they arrived at the safe house, Joanna opened the door and prepared the house while Lucas took the sleeping frame of Sasha in his arms to lay her down on the bed. He looked at her silently, cursing himself for the things he had to do to force her into helping them.

First, he removed her elegant shoes, pulling them around the bed. He leaned into her and untied her wonderful locks and, in a split second, he ran his hand over them, closing his eyes at the rush of sensation. He breathed deeply and straightened up, he undid the belt on her dress, letting loose the soft fabric of her dress. His fingers went to her sweet and tantalizing cleavage and unbuttoned the first flower button. He fumbled with the second before letting down his hands on either side of him, his cheeks crimson and his breath short.

"Jo, can you do this, please?" he asked with a deep husky voice. Astonished, the fair headed woman looked at him and came to the bed, shaking her head in understanding.

"Men…" she mumbled before remove the younger woman's dress. She raised her head to glance at Lucas preparing the room for the pictures and said apprehensively: "Are you sure you could handle it? I mean, I know you like her… probably more than you should… "

"Yeah, don't worry."

"You know that you need to do it."

"I said, don't worry" snapped Lucas while putting the photography material a little too hard on the table. He lowered his head, breathed deeply: "I didn't intend to be short with you. Sorry."

"Don't be. You're an angel compared to Ros' fury." Joanna smiled wildly to his friend, making him laugh a little and relax.

"I suppose I don't undress her totally, do I?" asked Jo a minute later, laying again Sasha's lean body on the bed, head resting on the pillow. She had left the younger woman in her underwear, taking away the straps of her bra to leave her shoulders bare.

"Thank you, Jo" Lucas muttered awkwardly while pulling off his shirt.

He tried not to think about what he would have to do next. He breathed slowly, trying to calm his intense heartbeats. He sat on the edge of the bed to remove his pants, stripping down to only his boxers.

* * *

"I'm up and ready if you are" said Joanna when the camera was ready for the pictures.

Lucas nodded with a deep sigh and crawled under the sheets next to Sasha. He tried not to look at her sleepy face but she was so serene, so beautiful. He slid next to her and with a last look to Jo, he put himself on top of her, taking care to hide her bra with his arm, covering themselves by the waist with the sheets. He tilted her head back a little, her mouth opening a little instantly causing him to lick his lips. He carefully took her right arm and wrapped it around his waist, securing it with his left arm while his right hand was tangled in her wonderful hair. He finally lowered his head to her neck, as if he was kissing her.

"Yes, that's good" encouraged Jo, trying to soothe her friend because she understood too well how bad he felt about the ways Sasha's refusal forced them to work against her. Her ever so sensible friend fancied this girl so much that being in such intimate posture without her willing would be horrible. "Lucas… I'm sorry lad but you need to be a little more… convincing or they will detect something was wrong."

She hated this situation but not more than him. He sighed deeply, his warm breath tickling Sasha's neck where goosebumps suddenly appeared. He not noticing it focused like he was remembering himself it was only a mission, trying to suppress any feelings he could feel. He lowered his head further and, closing his eyes, he brushed his lips at the soft point between her jaw and her ear. As soon as he touched her skin, he couldn't help but moaned a little, his body tensing and his arms clutching her tighter to him. Joanna didn't wait more, taking as many photos as she could, gasping suddenly when she saw Sasha moving sleepily.

Lucas didn't see her move but felt it and stilled instantly. In her sleep, she had felt his movement and she had responded by wrapping one leg around his. Her right arm tightened around his waist bringing him closer to her; her left arm enfolding around his own arm and hanging on his shoulder while she inclined her head more with a soft whine to give him better access to her neck. He knew he should have not done it but he gave up to the menacing sensation overwhelming him and kissed her throat with an open mouth.

His lack of professionalism producing exactly the kind of pictures the mission needed, Joanna quickly finished her task and, knowing she couldn't let him lose more of his self-control, she came softly to his side and put a hand on his shoulder : "Lucas… we have all what we need."

As soon as Joanna's voice tilted his ears, Lucas regained control of himself. A wave of shame rushed through him at the thought he had preyed on a sleepy young woman because he had to admit that even if it started like a mission, it had turned out to be a lot more. He disentangled himself from Sasha, making her whine at the lack of contact, avoiding looking at her beautiful flushing face as much as possible.

He sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, head on his hands, breathing deeply to calm his hot and aching body. "Don't worry, she is still asleep and with the entire drug I gave her, she will be out for a long time and will certainly not remember tomorrow…" Joanna said quietly wanting to help him feel better.

She let him get dressed while she got to work on the computer of the safe place to prepare the "proof" they will need to blackmail the younger woman.

The remainder of the night was long and painful to Lucas who couldn't sleep because of what happened before. He had sent Joanna to rest while he watched Sasha to not leave her alone when she woke up. He sat on a chair in front of her, looking at her and trying not to think about her ire when she would soon discover how they had intended to force her to help them.

* * *

When Sasha woke up, she had a terrible headache and couldn't recognize where she was. Anxious, she quickly looked under the sheets and gasped when she saw she only wore her underwear, minus the straps of her bra… What happened last night? Where was she? And more important… with… whom?

"Hi, Sasha" the clear voice of Joanna made her jump in surprise.

"You?" she exclaimed, bringing the sheets closer to her to hide her almost naked body while her new friend came to her, raising a hot cup of coffee to her. "Thanks" she said absentmindedly, sipping at the beverage. "Jo" she asked a little while later, "where am I? What happened yesterday?"

"You don't remember anything?"

Sasha shook her head, feeling more tense and awkward with each passing second. Suddenly the bathroom door opened and Lucas comes out, rubbing down his damp hair with a towel; his wet shirt showing his well-built chest. She blushed crimson, releasing the breath she didn't know she held; he was definitely handsome.

"Hi" he said to her with a shy smile. "Did you sleep well?" He came to her and sat on the arm of the chair where Joanna was already.

"Yes" Sasha answered carefully. "But… like I asked Joanna: where are we and why do I not remember anything about yesterday?"

"Too much drink for sure" laughed Joanna, trying to ease the tension before bringing the big case.

"I never drink, you know that, Jo." The younger woman's voice was suspicious. "By the way, why am I undressed?"

"It's easier to sleep, honey" added her friend.

"Joanna, it's not funny! I want to know what happened here. I know you're hiding something from me, both of you, and I don't like that!"

"Sasha" started Lucas with his deep and serious baritone voice, "you're here because we couldn't let you go after our conversation at the party yesterday night."

"Our conversation… at the party…" the dark brown haired girl eyes widen in remembrance of the subject they talked about the day before. "You wanted me to betray my father."

"NO!" shouted Lucas, making the two women jumping in surprise, "we don't want you to betray your father but to help us to save people. THAT'S the point!"

A little stunned by his raised voice, Sasha stared a little longer in the azure man's eyes, trying to decipher any trace of treachery in them. When she found none, she tried to relax a little to listen to his arguments while keeping her mental barriers as fortified as ever.

"Your father is important, that's right, but only because he is the one who detains the vital information. It could have been anyone else; we would have acted the same. Unfortunately it's your dad and you're the only one who could find the files without warning everyone."

She'd gotten the point but she was reluctant to put her father in danger because even if he was rude and sometimes brutal, he was the only one parent who remained after her mother's death seven years ago and more than her father's history of violence, she knew she couldn't bear to lose him and feeling alone in this world. Yes, it was selfish, she knew that; she couldn't help but needed to feel protected and even if her father wasn't the best protection and was so often the danger himself – even if she will never say it to anyone out loud – it was at least the only shelter she had ever known. And it was better than nothing at all.

* * *

After a moment of silence, she shook her head, rejecting the idea again. Lucas sighed heavily and nodded to Jo who came to Sasha, holding out an envelope. The younger woman took it hesitantly and, after looking at the two agents, she opened it and slid out the pictures from it. Before her eyes went as wild as they could and her heart skipped a beat.

In her hands were pictures of her and… Lucas? They were both… naked! And they lay in a bed… this very bed she was on right now. He was kissing her neck while she held him tight against her slender body… Each picture added a flush tone on her cheeks at how hot they were and for one instant, she thought she had lost her mind because even if this moment seemed to have been real and… intense… she didn't remember anything of it.

"What…? When…? Did we…?" she couldn't mutter a whole sentence, her mind too foggy to form a single coherent thought.

Suddenly, she looked back at her body wrapped in the sheets and a silent sob shaking her. When she raised her eyes to Lucas's shamed ones, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"You drugged me, didn't you?" she asked in no more than a whisper.

"Yes" was his answer.

"Did you… did you rape me?"

"No!" he shouted shocked at this thought. "I have never and never will do this not to you or to anyone."

"Good" she sighed mutely. "Did we… you know… did we really… sleep together?"

"No" he drowned his eyes deeply in hers, his voice and response firm and honest.

"So… what are those pictures? Photoshop?"

"No, they are legitimate. We did those in the night. While you were sleeping."

Sasha glared at Joanna.

"Why did you do that?"

"You wouldn't help us willingly… we needed to have our way. Blackmail is often the best way."

"Blackmail? You wanted to blackmail me with those pictures?" Sasha sounded uncertain. "But by telling me nothing happened between Lucas – by the way, is that your real name at least" she snorted before returning at her previous thought – "and me, you have nothing to blackmail me because your "proof" means nothing now."

"We didn't make them for you."

"For my father then?" She tried to appear calmer than she felt. "I don't know how you can blackmail him with pictures of me having an affair with someone… sure he will be upset to see them" – more than upset she thought, couldn't prevent a shiver of fear to run along her spine. He will definitely not be pleased and she will have to pay the consequences… but that was the lesser of evils for now. – "but I am a grown woman so he can't help but let me live and have my own experiences…"

"That's not the point" cut Lucas.

"So, what is it?" She was satisfied to manage adding a sarcastic tone in her voice.

"Your father works with the Russian government and, like we already said, with some part of the Russian Mafia. What do you think his partners will feel when they learned his one and only daughter has an affair with Lucas North?" He saw the younger girl frowning, not understanding where he wanted to go. "A man quite known by the FSB and the Mafia to be an active member of the MI-5?"

Sasha's mouth opened agape but no sound could be heard as the realization made its way in her mind.

"If you do that, they will believe he knows about you and I and that perhaps he could be a traitor… he will be killed…!"

"That's the risk" stated Joanna shrugging to appear unaffected while Lucas knew quite well she hated this moment as much as him.

"You… You could sign my father's death sentence with false pictures without even blinking?"

"If it's the only way to obtain your help, yes, we'll do it."

Sasha's eyes locked on Lucas's and during a long moment they shared a battle of wills. Finally, the black haired girl let escape a long sigh, held her head as straight as ever and said in a shaking and breaking voice:

"I will do it. But after that, I want to never have to see you again, for you are a despicable man. I never thought one man who claims wanting protect his country can do so underhandedly. How I regret ever having met you."

Lucas gulped, broken the fevered eye contact and stood up. He took his phone and turning his back to his new "asset", he dialed the Grid: "we have her" he said before hanging up and let his head fell on his chest.


End file.
